The Mind: Why We Think the Way We Do

Our brains are complicated little bastards, and sometimes, they run on autopilot. Let’s break it down. Most of us think from one of three places, and honestly, sometimes all three in the same day.

The Subjective Mind:

The emotionally-driven thinker.

Some people operate straight from emotion. You know the type , react first, think later. But here’s the thing: emotions are temporary. They come and go. Learning to think about what you’re thinking about helps slow that reactive spiral.

It’s not easy. It’s work. It’s repetition. It takes time to change how we think. And yeah, we all mess it up. I do too. Sometimes I take a breath before responding when someone pisses me off… sometimes I don’t, especially with this political arena.

When you fire off emotionally, the other person goes straight into defense mode. And when someone’s defensive, their rational brain has officially left the building.

Side note: Anger isn’t a primary emotion, it’s secondary. It usually hides something deeper: hurt, fear, lack of control, or even learned behavior.

The Objective Mind:

The concrete thinker-right or wrong, black or white.

You’ve probably met someone who speaks their opinions like they’re gospel. They don’t listen. They don’t care to understand. They’re rigid. They’re “right.” End of story.

The objective mind has no room for nuance. It’s frustrating for everyone, they’re mad no one sees things their way, and everyone else is mad because they won’t shut up and listen.

Here’s the kicker: that rigidity often comes from insecurity. Certainty feels safer than questioning yourself.

The Wise Mind:

The sweet spot - the perfect balance of emotion and reason.

This one is all about insight, truth, and understanding. The wise mind listens without absorbing everyone else’s chaos. It knows not every opinion deserves a reaction.

It lets people be who they are . different views, different lives , and moves on in peace. Getting here takes awareness. It’s realizing we’re all wired differently and choosing to respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

Final Thoughts:

We’re all a work in progress. None of us get this “thinking” thing right all the time, so don't go kicking your own ass. It’s the messy, imperfect parts that make you you. And when your brain’s on autopilot, maybe just pause, breathe, and check which “mind” is driving.

Be good to yourself.

Jennifer Kelley, LMSW-CCATP